And The Verdict Is...

...I'm a wuss.

Taylor and I went to dinner tonight and naturally the subject of relationships came up as it always does with us because we're both incredibly screwed up, but at least we know this. I have never been the one in a relationship who has had to initiate anything, not with He Who Shall Remain Nameless, not with Adam, not with Drake, not even with Evan. They were all some sort of relationship, if not a typical one. Anyway, I did not make the first move in ANY of those situations, NONE. So I am not used to having to pursue anything. Taylor has concluded that I will thus be alone for the rest of my life if I don't get off my ass and make a move. He's reasoning is that yes, I did get hurt by Adam, Drake, and Evan, but if I let those three control what happens to the rest of my life, I'm done for and that humankind would be doomed if everyone stopped pursuing anything just because it didn't work out a couple times with a couple people. I don't really think I am letting them control anything, I just know I'd rather go on about my life not getting hurt because it sucks, and I'm tired of it. On the other hand, maybe The One is getting away as we speak because, despite ample opportunity as of late, I've done nothing to indicate interest. My response to Taylor was, "Well, neither has he." I thought Taylor was going to slap me. Thus, I am a wuss. I think it surprised him, he was like, "You normally do not present yourself that way, this is a whole side of you I've never seen before." Get used to it I guess, I think I'm done. I'll be the little old lady at the end of the block in the big scary house with fifty cats that the kids are all afraid of. It's not ideal, but it's better than crying.